Over the last year and a half we have seen definite improvements in behavior and basic manners. However, these students still have a LONG way to go. Unfortunately, most of students don't understand that a simple "please" and "thank you" can go a long way. Every once in a blue moon, one of us will hear a student say "thanks" and when we do, we are floored. There seems to be some form of disconnect between the home, the schools, and the students. At home, the kids are given the basic needs, so often times it may not seem like there is a lot to be thankful for. In all honesty, in a neighborhood where there is so much going on beyond the four walls of the home, it becomes almost impossible for these basic lessons to be taught. While moms, dads, grandparents, or legal guardians are working multiple jobs, raising multiple children, the attention for this is absent. These lessons often take a backseat to putting food on the table.
We bring attention to this matter not to blame the caregivers of our students, as we have never had to raise children ourselves. We realize raising children is extremely difficult in any household, especially when money and time is tight. We simply are trying to bring awareness to the fact that respect and gratuity is essential for the students to get where we envision them. Sam and I both remember our dear moms Margo and Cathy harping on us to say these please and thanks yous. For Sam, it was firmly pushed that eye contact was essential in communicating with peers and adults. In my family, writing thank you letters was simply expected, at minimum. I hated doing them after every birthday and holiday, but understood it was imperative in building relationships beyond the gifts.
It is difficult teaching basic manners to students who are beyond the age when most kids learn these lessons. This is not to say that they have zero understanding of this idea, but from what we see these forms of respect are not a part of their everyday habitual actions. There are certainly some students among the group, who have these basics down, but without question every student at the Kelly Hall YMCA has room for improvement. We too, have room for improvement. At least when these students do say these simple words they mean them. Often times in our busy hectic lives we say please and thank you losing sight of the true meaning behind the words.
We intend to strongly promote these fundamental forms of respect, but also teach the meaning and the importance of them. As we go about our own days we will try to say them with meaning to the students, and continuously make them apparent to the students and staff. We have seen the respect they have given us over the years, and we strongly feel that if we model this, they will latch onto it, and make it their own. We hope that one day these students will understand that for each kind action, there should be a positive reaction. For example, if someone holds the door for you entering the YMCA, or anywhere for that matter, you do not just walk through, but you look them in the eyes and say thank you.
We have talked about how strong the community is within the YMCA, but we feel that if we strengthen this aspect of respect, we will see the community strengthen in new ways. As Sam, myself, and our crew go about our days showing these fundamental signs of respect, we ask all of you, are you practicing these simple actions? And if so, are you practicing them with the understanding of their true meaning? So tomorrow in your day do one of these actions (or all if you’re feeling up to it) hold a door, when you speak to someone look them in the eye, and say thank you even to the Starbucks barista who at 7 AM screwed up your drink.
With love and hope,
